What Would Jesus Say About Marriage
# 7 What Would Jesus Say Matt. 19:1-12
Introduction
Illustrate: Night before wedding - Bride very nervous. Not sure could walk down aisle.
So her father gave her some words of wisdom. He said to her.
- 3 things to focus on
1. Walking Down Aisle - it’s long so just concentrate on getting to end of aisle.
2. Focus on the Altar - It’s your destination today. Make your way down the aisle to the altar. There you will stand before God with the man you love and will make vows to God and him. Focus on the altar –for the altar represents the love God has for you in Jesus Christ.
3. Focus On the Hymn - In poetry and song, the hymn embodies God’s love for you in Christ, your love for your husband and his love for you.
Walking down the AISLE,
Standing before the ALTAR and
Listening to the HYMN.
* Family and friends gather - Bridal march begins - Bride is calm
- but as passed each pew they began to chuckle
- Though she appears calm in her nervousness she mumbles three words over and over
"Aisle, Altar, Hymn… Aisle, Altar, Hymn… Aisle, Altar, Hymn."
Marriage is the bonding, legally and before God, of a man and woman into a relationship that is physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
* In answer to Pharisees' question
- rather than go back to Deuteronomy Jesus goes back to Genesis
-back past Rabbinical traditions and back past the law of Moses to God's plan in creation.
I. All Marriages Are Made In Heaven
(vs 4-6)
In the beginning: Genesis 2:18-22
* What God did in the beginning concerning marriage teaches us what He had in mind for a man and a woman.
- By going back to Genesis - Jesus indicates this is God’s pattern.
1. It’s Not Good To Be Alone
It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. (Gen. 2:18)
* Everything in the garden was "very good"
- but not good that the man was alone.
- God made a helper comparable to him
* Marriage is good and natural
2. Marriage Is A Divinely Appointed Union
and He brought her to the man (Gen. 2:22)
(pictured in marriage ceremony - father brings bride down aisle and gives bride away)
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. (Matt. 19:6)
* God controls the laws and character of marriage - not government
- this important in same-sex marriage debate.
- God establishes all marriages and defines what it is.
- early days in Canada - marriage was domain of the church - till government decided to get in licence business.
* Marriage is a Divinely appointed Union between a Man and A Woman
Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'
and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh' (Matt. 19:4-5)
* In creative sense - every marriage is made in heaven
- God has joined every husband and wife.
- Marriage first of all is God’s institution and God’s doing regardless of what people may think or do.
* Every Marriage Is Sealed In The Courts Of Heaven
- Don’t mess with it.
II. In Marriage One + One = One
(vs 4-6)
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Matt. 19:5) (Cf. Genesis 2:24)
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. (KJV)
1. Leaving And Cleaving
i) Leaving = Adam and Eve no parents to leave = instruction for future generations
- leave past commitments Physically, Emotionally, Financially
- In Marriage Begin new family unit together
– In marriage now your commitment is to each other
"Forsaking all others, keep you only unto him/her so long as you both shall live."
ii) Cleaving
Some translations - "cling to his wife" "be joined to his wife" etc.
* Lit. "To be glued together"
- Job used same Hebrew word:
My bone clings to my skin and to my flesh (Job 19:20)
* CRAZY-GLUED TOGETHER
- two become inseparable
* When you step into marriage you are cemented together.
Marriage as God has always intended it to be involves the total commitment and consecration of husbands and wives to each other and to Him as the divine author of their union.
2. The Two Become One Flesh
* In God’s marriage economy 1 + 1 = 1
Two become one flesh
* 1 Male + 1 Female = Together for life.
* Never 1+1+1 = 1 Never 2+1= 1 or any other equation.
Two Become One Leaves Out:
- group sex
- multiple marriages
- serial monogamy
- multiple wives/husbands
- trial marriages - living together
- one-night stands etc.
1+ 1 = Inseparable bond
"Consequently" Jesus said, "when a man and woman are joined in marriage they are no longer two, but one flesh." They are therefore indivisible and inseparable, except through death. In God's eyes they become the total possession of each other, one in mind and spirit, in goals and direction, in emotion and will. When they have a child it becomes the perfect emblem and demonstration of their oneness, because that child is a unique product of the fusion of two people into one flesh and carries the combined traits of both parents.
(from The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Copyright © Moody Press and John MacArthur, Jr., 1983-2005.)
III. Marriage Is For Keeps
(vs 4-6)
Marriage in God’s plan is a permanent union. God’s original design was that one man and one woman spend one life together.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. (Matt. 19:6)
It is not the judge that made 2 into 1, it’s not the pastor that made 2 into 1…it is God who worked that miracle, and no one has the power or authority to break that bond.
Illustrate: Young couple return from honeymoon. Man says, "You know, sweetheart, I don’t feel married. I guess I’ll just continue on like when I was single." Woman says: "Babydoll, your feelings better catch up to reality. You’re married."
* In Our Day - Marriage Taken Lightly – God Said "It’s For Keeps." "Don’t Mess With It."
** If not God’s intent for Divorce – Why Moses Command a Divorce Certificate (vs 7)
* Used Bible to support their liberal view of divorce. - used only passage where Moses mentions any grounds for divorce. (Deut. 24:1-4).
- because of sin - hard hearts.
- Meant to curb worst abuses of divorce
"Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. (Matt. 19:8)
* Divorce was not and is not in God’s will or plan.
IV. My Father Hates Divorce
(vs 7-9)
. "For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," says the Lord of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." (Mal. 2:16)
* God Hates Divorce - He Does Not Hate the Divorced.
"A divorce is like an amputation: you survive, but there’s less of you." - Margaret Atwood.
Illustrate
: British survey 25% of British couples say snoring is ruining their love lives. 10 % say its serious enough they’re considering divorce.
Illustrate: First couple who came to me for marriage: "Have either of you ever been divorced"
Guy - "Yes" Circumstances: "Married nine months and got tired of each other." Turned to girl, "What makes you think he won’t get tired of you in nine months."
* Easy Divorce Of Jesus’ Day
- In Jewish culture women came to be treated as property - bought sold, traded.
- Divorce became common - Pharisees leading proponents of easy divorce.
- Known to frequently divorce wives for any cause to marry another woman
- Some Rabbis said it was a man’s obligation to divorce a wife he was unhappy with.
Illustrate:
Among the Talmudic writings "A bad wife is like leprosy to her husband. What is the remedy? Let him divorce her and be cured of his leprosy." "If a man has a bad wife, it is a religious duty to divorce her."
** Context: – Gross mistreatment of women – Jesus brings down the hammer
He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. (Matt. 19:8-9)
* Only 2 Biblical Grounds For Divorce
i) Adultery - here Matthew 19:7-9
Jesus affirmed that divorce was permitted under certain conditions
- Hardness of heart - suggests condition where adultery was prolonged and the sinning spouse was unrepentant thus reconciliation and a normal marriage relationship was impossible.
- when adulterous spouse totally insensitive to marital fidelity - God indirectly and reluctantly permitted divorce.
ii) Abandonment By Unbelieving Spouse 1 Cor. 7
* To Destroy Marriage Is To Destroy What God Has Created
* Pharisees used God’s Word to argue for divorce. Jesus used God’s Word to share God’s heart.
- They were concerned where the line was. Jesus was concerned where the heart was.
V. Some Of You May Be Called To Singleness
(vs 10-12)
* Disciples floored by Jesus’ high view of marriage.
- they seemed to have a low view.
"Man, if you’ve got to be stuck with one woman all your life, it’s better not to marry. I mean.. what if you make a mistake or change your mind."
* Teaching Accepted By Those To Whom It Is Given
1. Those Who Are Married
- Accept = completely embracing an idea or principle
– People intent on doing their own thing will do it.
– These Instructions Given To Those Who Want To Live Under God’s Rule.
2. Those Who Are Single
* Many single Christians endure frustration, temptations and unnecessary loneliness because intentionally avoid marriage for wrong reasons:
- more concerned about looks than character
- don’t want to be accountable to anyone - no one invade selfish world
- waiting for perfection
- motivated by wealth and possessions
- falsely believe celibacy bring them closer to God
* 3 Categories Of Successful Singleness
i) Those Born Eunuchs - physically undeveloped sexual capacity
ii) Those Made Eunuchs By Man - harem guards
– today may include people who care for aged parents - other reasons
iii) Those Who Made Themselves Eunuchs (not physically)
- a gift granted by God (vs 11)
- Celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom
* This is given for those who can accept it.
– If you can accept the idea that the single state is good before God - have no necessity for sexual satisfaction in marriage – Staying Single Is A Good Option.
** Though Marriage Is Normal And Blessed Of God
– Some have been called of God to singleness for the sake of the Kingdom
VI. It’s Going To Take A Lot Of Hard Work
(vs 10)
* Go back to verse 10
– Disciples realized that Jesus was presenting an extremely high view of marriage that would be difficult to achieve.
Illustrate:
- Wife goes to the Dr. With husband who has serious illness.
- Dr. takes wife aside: "Husband has serious illness and unless you do what I’m going to suggest to you he’s going to die. But if you do it for a year he’ll live."
- "Don’t let him experience any stress – wait on him hand and foot etc......."
- Way home husband asks, "What did Dr. say?"
- Tears well up in her eyes - "He said, you’re going to die."
* Marriage takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice.Three Choices:
1. You Can Get Divorced - which Jesus ruled out as an option
2. You Can Live In Misery - some people say then "live miserable"
Illustrate:
- Devil shows up at church business meeting. Jumping all around, scaring people and all leave but one. "You don’t scare me. I’ve been married to your sister for 30 yrs."
3. You Can Work It Out
* Happy marriages are not accidents. They are the result of committed love, mutual understanding, sacrifice and hard work.
Conclusion
Story of Valentine and Valentine’s Day:
Valentine, -minister who Valentine’s Day is named for
- martyred for the great and godly institution of marriage.
- Emperor of Rome at the time, Claudius, passed law banning marriages.
- reason simple - Men would not volunteer to join his Roman army with wives and girlfriends to leave behind.
- Valentine knew God instituted the family -great marriages.
- kept on performing marriage ceremonies – but secretly.
- would whisper the words of the ceremony, while listening for soldiers on the steps outside.
One night - arrested -thrown in jail and sentenced to death.
Valentine tried to stay cheerful while imprisoned, and many young people came to the jail to visit him—actually performing ceremonies while imprisoned.
- jailer’s daughter would often visit Valentine in his cell, and they sat and talked for hours.
- she believed he did the right thing by disobeying Emperor and performing marriage
* On the day, Valentine was to die, he left her a note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. He signed it,
"Love from your Valentine."
That note started the custom of exchanging love notes on Valentine’s Day. It was written on the day he died, February 14, 269 A.D.
* Valentine believed that Marriage was still worth it.
* In our day when the family is so eroded – we must build strong marriages.
